Last week I faced my first CT scan after I’d finished with chemo and all surgeries. My oncologist suggests I have one of these every year from now on, just in my chest area, to be sure nothing cancerous is growing there. It sounded sensible enough in November, when I visited him for my 10 month check-up after the final chemo (which was in January). He scheduled it for FEBRUARY 2013. Which didn’t sound bad…. at first!
Then I had a few weeks to think (and obsess) over it… and I realized how anxious I was feeling about it. Now, I do know how to manage my anxiety (with a good healthy combo of meditation, mindfulness, guided imagery and TFT/EFT tapping). However, I decided I didn’t want to have to MANAGE my anxiety for another 10 weeks, so I called my oncologist and we changed the date to mid-December.
I was, of course, still anxious a
bout it. Even though my work with my Naturopath is showing excellent results. Even though I feel in really good health. Anxiety will have its way with us when we are heading for after-cancer check-ups and diagnostics!
On the morning of my CT scan, I drew three SoulCollage® cards from my Deck and didn’t peek at them. I tucked them inside a book and took them with me. After I’d checked in and was sitting down WAITING, I pulled them out, turned them over. I was inwardly asking for help with getting through this waiting period (not only waiting for the CT scan itself, but all the waiting later that day, for results from my doctor).
Here are the 3 cards I turned over:
1. Father Randy- the Episcopal priest who was my spiritual director in the late 80’s. A beautiful example of unconditional love and acceptance. I did my Al-Anon 5th Step with him (a HUGE step for me!His was one of the first cards I created for my deck back in 2005, and I have NEVER drawn it in a reading in all these years.
2. My Dad- another positive example for me growing up of complete, unconditional love. Gentle and a good listener, my dad was always good at comforting a
nd had a beautiful calm energy about him, always.
3. Crow- this is my Heart Chakra companion animal. I am just getting to know him, and I almost laughed right out loud. What a blessed synchronicity to draw my animal totem for my heart chakra/chest area, when that was the exact area of my body being focused on that day!
Needless to say, as always, another perfect reading. I got exactly what I needed, and was greatly delighted and comforted at the same time by this “random” combination of cards that I drew from my deck that morning.
I felt their presence and strength and love with me as I waited and waited that day. Anxiety was still running through me, but only in a small trickly stream instead of a major stormy river as it had before. The results of the CT scan were clear and I am so, so grateful- for my healthy body and for this process of SoulCollage® which gifts me with guidance and support every day of my life.